fall ins and outs

so we meet again

Sep 17, 2025

it’s mid september. fall is approaching. quickly. actually, i’m begging for fall weather approaches as soon as possible–because i hate the heat with a passion. technically, the fall solstice falls on this coming monday, but the weather seems to behave as she pleases. it’s my favorite time of year, especially on the east coast. the air gets crisp, the colors in the northeast are probably one of the prettiest things to look at. every year, i’ve made sure to come home to experience new york city’s fall because you truly cannot find it anywhere else.

because i’m a major fan of changing seasons and a girl with A LOT of opinions, here are my fall ins and outs…

anthony bourdain

i read his book kitchen confidential for my sophomore year of high school’s english literature class. i loved that one class for so many reasons, but i’m extremely grateful my teacher introduced me to bourdain: we read his book, watched his show, and discussed him as a figure.

he found a deep appreciation for the world in wherever he went. he romanticized his life, always sought connection, but also was somehow able to keep things real in a way that might be considered a bit forthright. recently, a clip resurfaced about him talking about trump. despite his whole thing being about eating with anyone in order to engage in meaningful conversation and discourse with that person, he did not want to eat with trump, which, naturally, makes me like him even more.

here’s a lovely article about how to travel like anthony bourdain that i read somewhat recently.

plotting revenge
god forbid a girl is a little angry! hope you get what’s coming for you!! xx

spice up your life
i wear a lot of the color black. what can i say? it goes with everything! however, i’ve always loved color and i’m aiming to incorporate more of it into my wardrobe to break up the monotony that, unfortunately, most of us face on the daily. i’ve been introduced to the 7 point styling system and i’ve been trying to incorporate it into my daily routine instead of a pre-programmed uniform essentially of a plain jane top and jeans.

also related to my current affinity for dressing with colors–i’ve been obsessed with these two tops i bought in london. i got them specifically as something to wear for the london hangout (or more used that as a justification for buying them). they’re from verconiik, but are sold at one of my favorite stores there called alta (a really fun store for window shopping tbh). i think i’ve worn at least one of them every single week since i’ve bought them.

harry styles
i recently relistened to his first self-titled and third album top to bottom and… walk with me here… where is the fourth album, king???

being mediocre
i asked my group chat to help me brainstorm some ins and outs for this post. while one of my friends texted “ins: being mediocre” as a joke, it did get me thinking about my last substack post, as well as a presentation i did in college on the importance of hobbies. per my class presentation, we were told to give a tedtalk on anything we wanted. i was re-going through a knitting phase, something i loved to do as a kid, and therefore subjected a ton of my friends to be on the victims of mediocre, homemade scarfs.

the point of a hobby is that it’s okay to be mediocre at something. as someone who has a painful fear of failure, forcing myself to be okay with being mediocre at some things is really important. there are so many things i care about a lot–and i care a lot at being good at them. however, if i push myself to be perfect and the best at everything i do, it feels like a recipe for self-implosion. as a hobby, i’m taking a ballet class this fall (my first class is in about an hour as i write this). i’m probably the opposite of most qualities that ballerinas embody. i overall lack the skill of balancing my body. i’m going into this new adventure with zero expectations to become the next prima ballerina of the new york city ballet, but it’s not like i’m going to learn absolutely nothing. i’m taking up rock climbing again next.

twilight
every fall is a twilight fall.

olivia dean
everyone is obsessed with olivia dean at the moment. i get it. trust me. i get it. she has been one of my favorite artists since i first heard “the hardest part” back in 2022 (i’m going to be annoying and include receipts below, sorry). every time i remember her first album exists, i’ve gone on to listen to it top to bottom on repeat for the next 3 months. my friend grace called me out recently for doing this. hi grace, if you’re reading this. i’m really happy she’s getting the recognition she' deserves.

the receipts (this screenshot was taken on sept. 14 2025 btw)

milky matcha
i reallllly hate drinking straight almond milk. enough said.

paying for milk alternatives
we’re reaching a point in society where most young people (i have no facts, just my assumptions and general observations) who are going to coffee shops on the regular in a city like new york are not ordering their latte with dairy milk. if you are, then i admire your bravery. i do think it’s unfair to add on $1.50 for getting almond milk with an already overpriced latte.

“it’s not that deep.”
it is that deep!! i know everyone was joking about that video of fka twigs asking what happened to all the deep thinkers… while i think we’re in a crisis of some people thinking they are deep thinkers, at the same time, we’re in a bit of a crisis where people aren’t thinking enough.

poor posture
i am on a journey it fix my posture. while i do have a legitimate reason for my poor posture, every time i see a photo of myself standing from the side, i cringe internally. part of me is hoping the less time i spend in a car this fall, the more this will improve.

walkers in la la land
not to be rude, but please, just move to the side. i get the equivalent of walking road rage when i have to awkwardly face a stranger and say “excuse me” six to seven times because you have your headphones in and are on your phone. don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk. don’t somehow navigate your path to somehow perfectly step in front of me every time i try to step around you. if you’re going to be a slow walker, at least be a little more self-aware of the other people on the sidewalk and step over.

idgaf
i love to say “i dont give a gaf”. trust, gaf (“give a fuck” – for the boomers and chronically offline) is a heavily rotated term in my vocabulary. i also already wrote about my severe thoughts on indifference in last years fall’s outs, but apparently people still need to hear this because the epidemic of disinterest painfully bores me.

nothing is more interesting to me than a person who is unapologetically themselves, where i can see the way their face lights up when they talk about something they are interested. their energy and enthusiasm becomes palpable and contagious.

to gaf or to not give a gaf? i think situations call for not giving a gaf. learning to be confident in myself and interests, so when someone else has something not so nice to say about me, i can say “they’re wasting time and energy talking about me, i don’t give a gaf.”? not giving a gaf = cool. when pretending like you don’t give a gaf is rooted in insecurity and an attempt to fit in with people who obviously are not meant for you? not giving a gaf = lame and loser behavior.

waiting on line
is the hype really worth waiting hours for? just because you saw it on tiktok? sometimes i think brands create hype around a drop, then force people to wait in line to create a false sense of exclusivity. i’m kinda over waiting anymore than ten minutes for something i can probably find another version, or even better version of down the street.

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